tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65123435122109740022024-03-13T01:47:09.319-05:00Alabama HumorALABAMA HUMOR
Random, no holds barred irreverence from an Anniston girl.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-18314332095535690552019-02-04T09:12:00.001-06:002019-02-04T09:13:30.800-06:00What Each State Googles More Than Any Other<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXh3Ylo7TOfIhMVeHD7bUcMNVPxmRqyREW_ggeIs0bzBPa3W9wQDStUnrfD8USDWiCWmeNBLz75qbV3nohsYSJtSB0kUEk6ESe4mSq5Mr7MAplD5hdIS8VNOW2YEcN5sORGThw1j1PMNhF/s1600/17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="551" data-original-width="770" height="456" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXh3Ylo7TOfIhMVeHD7bUcMNVPxmRqyREW_ggeIs0bzBPa3W9wQDStUnrfD8USDWiCWmeNBLz75qbV3nohsYSJtSB0kUEk6ESe4mSq5Mr7MAplD5hdIS8VNOW2YEcN5sORGThw1j1PMNhF/s640/17.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-72043858800653755322018-07-13T21:47:00.004-05:002018-07-13T21:47:45.251-05:00Odd Mississippi Laws<ul style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif;">
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. </li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Columbus - The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Oxford - It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.</li>
<li style="color: #444444; font-family: "Myriad Pro", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px;">Tylertown - It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. </li>
</ul>
Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-81280841417423709912018-06-19T15:43:00.000-05:002018-06-19T15:43:06.936-05:00Pinata<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5FqlbYElAkJL7ddhJoPcE8QbQWSRaSNt1gzjCtufQcCQMuLAgjqyKwur0Oec0l9cGHNjNNp_Rzjai29HJALDClXy8qE3P5pHSHZVVx46hETa1_-64a-dg564XfWBiBYrXOCn5UsetRnB/s1600/pinatarescan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1551" data-original-width="1600" height="387" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5FqlbYElAkJL7ddhJoPcE8QbQWSRaSNt1gzjCtufQcCQMuLAgjqyKwur0Oec0l9cGHNjNNp_Rzjai29HJALDClXy8qE3P5pHSHZVVx46hETa1_-64a-dg564XfWBiBYrXOCn5UsetRnB/s400/pinatarescan.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-33614246404931333682018-06-13T14:35:00.002-05:002018-06-13T14:35:18.274-05:00Let It Grow!<b>Kind of out of season; but WTH!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<h3 style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
Let it Grow!</h3>
<b><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">(sung to the tune of "Let it Snow!")</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Lyrics by S. M. Schmidt (with profound apologies to Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne)</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Oh my newly bobbed hair is frightful</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">My long hair was so delightful</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">That stylist is now my foe</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Let It Grow! Let It Grow! Let It Grow!</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">My tears are finally drying</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Cut the damage due to dyeing</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">I'll let it turn white as snow</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Let It Grow! Let It Grow! Let It Grow!</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">It doesn't show signs of stopping</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">My butt it will soon be topping</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Only one more foot to go</span><br style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-center;">Let It Grow! Let It Grow! Let It Grow!</span></b>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-66555397637082951412018-06-12T13:22:00.000-05:002018-06-12T13:22:05.022-05:00Another Hotel Joke<br /><div style="background-color: #f9f9fd; clear: both; color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px; height: 1px;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="940" style="background-color: #f9f9fd; color: #055a86; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px;"></a><span style="background-color: #f9f9fd; color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px;">A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f9f9fd; color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px;"><br /></span>
<div style="background-color: #f9f9fd; color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px;">
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."</div>
Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-15859577144125488652018-06-07T15:19:00.000-05:002018-06-07T15:19:03.420-05:00Hotel Joke<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />
<div id="clc" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: url("../images/corners.gif"); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 14.4px; height: 7px; left: -1px; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: -1px; width: 7px;">
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<div id="crc" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: url("../images/corners.gif"); background-origin: initial; background-position: 7px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 14.4px; height: 7px; position: absolute; right: -1px; text-align: center; top: -1px; width: 7px;">
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<div id="jokeslist" style="color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="930" style="color: #055a86;"></a>A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?"</div>
<div id="jokeslist" style="color: #343434; font-family: verdana; font-size: 15.84px;">
<br />The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?"<br />
<br />
The person says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a '<span style="color: dimgrey;">do not disturb</span>' sign on it."</div>
Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-89246038777435584362018-06-06T12:41:00.000-05:002018-06-06T12:41:03.022-05:00Spinning Class<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLT8OqZCvR-dfH2MINrQOoIMhATJ4_ITyuZHtBByffCWdF6xcDgyQ_etFAeWsLXiPHkPDMGCzS_JicvLk40sWLqBcP5CDUJYpnhe7UIgfhUHPdkutkywQbZ2JZrVqmscpJ4ErcpSV0SISO/s1600/pyqhs-sm6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="624" data-original-width="540" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLT8OqZCvR-dfH2MINrQOoIMhATJ4_ITyuZHtBByffCWdF6xcDgyQ_etFAeWsLXiPHkPDMGCzS_JicvLk40sWLqBcP5CDUJYpnhe7UIgfhUHPdkutkywQbZ2JZrVqmscpJ4ErcpSV0SISO/s400/pyqhs-sm6.jpg" width="345" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-77980114753980318802018-06-05T15:28:00.001-05:002018-06-05T15:28:11.696-05:00It's Time<span style="background-color: white; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">A work colleague was smelling bad and someone asked:</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">– </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">“Do you shower after sex?”</em><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">– </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">“Yes”</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">, he replied.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">– </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #424242; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">“Then maybe it’s time that you have sex?”</em>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-44304853057135702602018-05-24T12:55:00.000-05:002018-05-24T12:55:17.751-05:00Bikini Versus Underwear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Da20OAG60SXKW8YYh4xvwhyphenhyphentDfUr8iSHmwNaffplm1_uCJdeB5vjcMLiuc_r5_rNsnZttgaBn0mGIN0WvRYWwGgM4lD08byddc1aoEXu1bTNvzuesxALdNtAYh25DNtBK5MyDWr326x3/s1600/womens-logic-bikini-vs-underwear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="555" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Da20OAG60SXKW8YYh4xvwhyphenhyphentDfUr8iSHmwNaffplm1_uCJdeB5vjcMLiuc_r5_rNsnZttgaBn0mGIN0WvRYWwGgM4lD08byddc1aoEXu1bTNvzuesxALdNtAYh25DNtBK5MyDWr326x3/s400/womens-logic-bikini-vs-underwear.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-6450358691542763872018-05-20T18:20:00.000-05:002018-05-20T18:20:19.738-05:00Lewis Grizzard Quote<b><span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px;">"Life is like a dog-sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scene</span><span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px;">ry never changes."</span></b>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-30853018974219039962018-05-17T13:01:00.000-05:002018-05-17T13:01:01.541-05:00An Unexpected Choice<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Roboto, Roboto-Light, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 13px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /></b>
<b>A Baptist was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.</b><br />
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Roboto, Roboto-Light, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin-bottom: 13px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b>After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b>
<b>The flight attendant then asked the Baptist if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely ravished by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."</b><br />
</div>
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<b>The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."</b></div>
Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-21123933760888982422018-05-16T07:55:00.002-05:002018-05-16T18:19:22.596-05:00Three Ministers<b>It was so sad. Three preachers of different denominations took a trip with their wives when their van was wiped out by a semi.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>All were killed.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Well, it came time for the ministerial couples to go through them Pearly Gates and old Saint Peter was keeping the door.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>First the Presbyterian minister and his wife go up to Saint Peter, and Saint Peter says, "No you can't come in. You were obsessed with money. You didn't get much, but you married a woman named Penny." </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>So they left.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Then the Methodist minister and his wife went up. Saint Peter said, "You can't come in. You were obsessed with alcohol and drinking. You didn't actually drink; but you weren't satisfied until you married a woman named Sherry."</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>So they left.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Then the Baptist minister said to his wife, "Let's go, Fannie. I can see where this is going to go."</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>[Based on an old one told by Lewis Grizzard.]</b>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-41681084998214819742018-05-10T14:29:00.003-05:002018-05-10T14:29:24.644-05:00Wishful Thinking?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGGV8H7GdAlB8fyYNiKkbv1RpuaHAikhgDxDpClnitCaLIRmL6IsRcKpTv26eLid32ZfYvU1qiDc4-tSaLJuBs0qMT8-VbquX9zyDwm4tTyxhzLnNWnItKfFTl8Rzk_qElVhMgnBEWEV9D/s1600/tumblr_inline_n81numn6f31s2i1hw-752x501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="501" data-original-width="752" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGGV8H7GdAlB8fyYNiKkbv1RpuaHAikhgDxDpClnitCaLIRmL6IsRcKpTv26eLid32ZfYvU1qiDc4-tSaLJuBs0qMT8-VbquX9zyDwm4tTyxhzLnNWnItKfFTl8Rzk_qElVhMgnBEWEV9D/s400/tumblr_inline_n81numn6f31s2i1hw-752x501.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-83459264382474943182018-05-08T14:54:00.000-05:002018-05-08T14:54:00.132-05:00Not a Flight Risk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIuWs-il0GoSC-Jlqi_LRRC0lyRa93TQQkyS_EkUkVzz3vyYVv0z_qnSqaiRfIIj0uzUXtvnZIdBkzk-rMPkr9hIbPVgo9BvwkAXaiicb31m0Cv3rJhc-I5fCLRcjouy7Rclr5eWPvwj_t/s1600/CrWtogaUsAAkhUq.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="423" data-original-width="564" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIuWs-il0GoSC-Jlqi_LRRC0lyRa93TQQkyS_EkUkVzz3vyYVv0z_qnSqaiRfIIj0uzUXtvnZIdBkzk-rMPkr9hIbPVgo9BvwkAXaiicb31m0Cv3rJhc-I5fCLRcjouy7Rclr5eWPvwj_t/s400/CrWtogaUsAAkhUq.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-13980821165286780362018-05-07T12:49:00.000-05:002018-05-07T12:49:00.210-05:00Not So Best Friends<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One day these two best friends Jay and Bob were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since no one was around for miles Bob called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick, Quick, I need your help. My friend got bit by a snake on his penis." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The doctor told him, "Son you're </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">gonna have to suck the venom out yourself." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bob asked, "Please, doctor, surely there has to be another way to get rid of the venom?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The doctor said. "Sorry, there's nothing we can do." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So Bob went running to his friend and when he got there Jay said with pain, " So what did the doctor say?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bob said," Doctor said your gonna die!" </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-32954862815578584582018-03-21T17:29:00.000-05:002018-03-21T17:29:07.697-05:00Why I Pretend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz8Ka6sbsKeCIh8mk2_2Xv60RLt7ATYbnVPjdejkx7ec5cVFU6aqhLVbK19l2Qr1JMNAoGtKtEzuTt0pGp_IVR5sAij-JxoBTqEKTPiD991h6HEKn9vDSzUdkWsEcXk184wcj80hOPBzwk/s1600/fart-jokes-uyb7y7t.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="525" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz8Ka6sbsKeCIh8mk2_2Xv60RLt7ATYbnVPjdejkx7ec5cVFU6aqhLVbK19l2Qr1JMNAoGtKtEzuTt0pGp_IVR5sAij-JxoBTqEKTPiD991h6HEKn9vDSzUdkWsEcXk184wcj80hOPBzwk/s400/fart-jokes-uyb7y7t.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-85262154787377223902018-02-04T14:16:00.000-06:002018-02-04T14:16:09.342-06:00Tennessee Volunteers<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;"> Q: Why do the Tennessee Volunteers eat cereal straight from the box? </strong></div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;"> A: They choke whenever they get near a bowl. </strong></div>
Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-22755072889838342392018-02-02T05:33:00.000-06:002018-02-02T05:33:10.386-06:00Sponge Bob<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWFgeV_guKTj8_QmidptDYQ3DAhEpg51lo1BkC9M_XIBH051SaSEsq6EDgglkYzIpAQ9_oILJNYjJ6nWS825wtZefGRrgjEQNIHzTPSWX1SL4scj9m3f0NfwujPvOSFXoJVvW9Js3GHtNS/s1600/tumblr_m2q31ijj0S1rp9nxno1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="379" data-original-width="500" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWFgeV_guKTj8_QmidptDYQ3DAhEpg51lo1BkC9M_XIBH051SaSEsq6EDgglkYzIpAQ9_oILJNYjJ6nWS825wtZefGRrgjEQNIHzTPSWX1SL4scj9m3f0NfwujPvOSFXoJVvW9Js3GHtNS/s400/tumblr_m2q31ijj0S1rp9nxno1_500.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-46110497444340053232018-01-31T14:19:00.000-06:002018-01-31T14:20:34.268-06:00Clothing for Nuns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTHsf1iDg3TNVZHrqv2OXYiSsnZLfWlGGrm5H0n1HwgneZYmYQCGnb9Qdj1eAXe32gz5DWvX2eV4KgbTVrz41IR-5jpFJqg70ah5co3eKdvSFpuDpPQRMpbKS98gcmcltIDeWj1Mwqkroq/s1600/fashion-clothes-women_s_clothing-undergarment-underwear-pushup-mba0834_low.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="469" data-original-width="400" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTHsf1iDg3TNVZHrqv2OXYiSsnZLfWlGGrm5H0n1HwgneZYmYQCGnb9Qdj1eAXe32gz5DWvX2eV4KgbTVrz41IR-5jpFJqg70ah5co3eKdvSFpuDpPQRMpbKS98gcmcltIDeWj1Mwqkroq/s400/fashion-clothes-women_s_clothing-undergarment-underwear-pushup-mba0834_low.jpg" width="340" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-76133826542814391322018-01-29T20:31:00.000-06:002018-01-29T20:31:06.365-06:00Cabin Fever<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">Bob had been in the software business for 30 years.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">Finally sick of the stress he retires from his job and buys</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">50 acres of land in the Yukon as far from humanity as possible.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Name's John, your neighbour from forty miles up the road.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">About 5:00."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Great", says Bob, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">some local folks. Thank you."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">As John is leaving, he stops.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Gotta warn you ... be some drinkin'."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Not a problem" says Bob.. "After 30 years in the business,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">I can drink with the best of 'em."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">Again, the big man starts to leave and stops.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Well, I get along with people. I'll be all right. I'll be there.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">Thanks again."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"More'n likely be some wild sex, too."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Now that's really not a problem" says Bob, warming to the idea.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">what should I wear?"</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4b4d;">"Don't much matter ... Just gonna be the two of us."</span></span>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-10167687468572838982018-01-24T14:06:00.000-06:002018-01-24T14:06:03.417-06:00Panty Jokes<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Why do women wear underwear? Because workplace health and safety states 'all manholes must be covered when not in use'! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">How did the redneck mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on? Yellow in the front, Brown in the back! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Why don't racehorses wear underwear? Because it rides up on them! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Why did Donald Trump do a press conference in his underwear? He wanted to give a news briefing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Why don't witches wear underwear when riding their broomsticks? So they can get a better grip! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">What do you call a collection of old underwear? A brief history. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">What do you call a stripper with her hand down her panties? Self Employed! </span>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-71667589549629854702018-01-22T12:27:00.000-06:002018-01-22T12:27:08.062-06:00I Don't Fart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRe8kjYdSMwXMvtNhLvgpYlpkAWq2bIXnS0Ak1PCGoqE-ghaqhon4Hi-VqdGvGbCWL1O4-4zRd31ATfMAiHfwjxB5Bn0lWNfSsq_E9N9HoP1Vl2x3HP91aF1jHeemmSOSJIdVHJPB1Wj_Z/s1600/b161f2e6c8783358d86e90bcaaf97822--funny-fart-jokes-someecards-funny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="620" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRe8kjYdSMwXMvtNhLvgpYlpkAWq2bIXnS0Ak1PCGoqE-ghaqhon4Hi-VqdGvGbCWL1O4-4zRd31ATfMAiHfwjxB5Bn0lWNfSsq_E9N9HoP1Vl2x3HP91aF1jHeemmSOSJIdVHJPB1Wj_Z/s400/b161f2e6c8783358d86e90bcaaf97822--funny-fart-jokes-someecards-funny.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-6403756374489304062018-01-16T11:26:00.000-06:002018-01-16T11:26:01.679-06:00Thoughts About Bras<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. I wonder if dying is like taking off your bra, but only better.</b></span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Home is where the bra isn't.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. The problem with having lunch with your grandma is that you have to wear a bra on those occasions.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Somehow, taking off your bra gives a spiritual lift even though you wonder about droopage.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. If your cup is only half full, then you probably need a smaller-sized bra.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>6. You love your soft, sexy red bra but realize it would show through your sweater.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>7. The nice stage of a relationship with a guy is when you don't have to wear a bra when you go out with him.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>8. Cast-off bras occasionally wind up being decorative accents when you're single.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>9. You can wear the same bra all week if you dare.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>10. Whoever thought up breast petals should be canonized a saint. </b></span></div>
Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-77780860665305913192018-01-14T13:25:00.002-06:002018-01-14T13:25:50.687-06:00You Know You're From Georgia if . . .<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">1. You can properly pronounce Chickamauga, DeKalb, Dahlonega, Smyrna, Buena Vista, Valdosta, Okefenokee, and LaFayette. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">Atlanta = ADD-LANNA, not AT-LANT-A.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">5. Stores don’t have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">6. You’ve seen people wear bib overalls at weddings and funerals.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 7. You think everyone from a Yankee state has an accent.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 8. You measure distance in minutes.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">13. You know someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 14. Almost everyone you know is either Baptist or Methodist.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">15. A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Crew Cab with extended bed is.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">16. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">18. Ironically, you only crave Chick-Fil-A and alcohol on Sundays . . when neither is sold.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 19. On one side of the road there’s Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 20. The directions to your house include “turn off the paved road.”</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">21. Fried chicken is a major part of your diet</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">22. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the only kind of doughnuts you eat.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">23.. You call it a cold Christmas if you don’t break out in a sweat in your new sweater.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 24. When a single snowflake falls, the entire state shuts down, even if it doesn’t stick. The radio and TV news will make snowstorm reports every ten minutes and the grocery store will be completely sold out of bread, milk, bottled water, toilet paper, and adult drinks.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 25. People actually grow, eat, and like okra!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 26. You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">27. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 28. Panama City Beach, Florida, is a big deal.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 29. You understand that at least once a year your car will turn yellow with pollen.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 30. You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">31. You say “tuna fish sandwich.”</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">32. You use “Sir” and “Ma’am” if there’s a remote possibility that the person you’re talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 33. Braves=good. Yankees=bad.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;"> 34. You love sweet tea, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and all Southern comfort food . . . and Southern comfort.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">35. You know the whole peach state thing only applies to those below the fall line.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">36. You have a flip-flop tan year-round</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">37. You use “The Big Chicken” as a basis for all directions.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #717171; font-size: 12.8px;">38. You get dressed extra nice TWICE a week . . . once on Sunday morning for church, and once on Friday night for the football game.</span></span></b>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6512343512210974002.post-16545811538418563242018-01-12T14:15:00.000-06:002018-01-12T14:15:50.644-06:00The Nude Beach<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The son comes running up to his mom and says…”Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” The mom says…”the bigger they are, the dumber they are.” </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So he goes back to play. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Several minutes later, he comes running back and says…”Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy’s!” </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The mom says…”the bigger they are, the dumber they are.” So he goes back to play.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Several minutes later he comes running back and says…”Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!”</span></span>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12848456961384711599noreply@blogger.com4