Friday, July 13, 2018

Odd Mississippi Laws

  • Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
  • Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
  • Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. 
  • Columbus - The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
  • Oxford - It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
  • One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.
  • Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.
  • Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
  • Tylertown - It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. 

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Let It Grow!

Kind of out of season; but WTH!

Let it Grow!

(sung to the tune of "Let it Snow!")
Lyrics by S. M. Schmidt (with profound apologies to Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne)

Oh my newly bobbed hair is frightful
My long hair was so delightful
That stylist is now my foe
Let It Grow! Let It Grow! Let It Grow!

My tears are finally drying
Cut the damage due to dyeing
I'll let it turn white as snow
Let It Grow! Let It Grow! Let It Grow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping
My butt it will soon be topping
Only one more foot to go
Let It Grow! Let It Grow! Let It Grow!

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Another Hotel Joke



A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Hotel Joke


A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?"

The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?"

The person says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

It's Time

A work colleague was smelling bad and someone asked:
– “Do you shower after sex?”
– “Yes”, he replied.
– “Then maybe it’s time that you have sex?”