Hipster Jokes

Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You wouldn’t know, it’s kind of an obscure number

Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.

Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.

Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram.

Q: How do you kill a hipster?
A: Stab it with a Pitchfork.


Q: Who was the First Hipster?
A: You've probably never heard of him.


Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool.

Q: Why are all the ugly chicks hipsters?
A: Because beauty is just too Mainstream!

Q: Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
A: They don’t like conventional ovens.

Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.

Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because it's underground.

Q: What was the hipster doing at the computer?
A: Looking in the recycling bin for something retro.

Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.


Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!

Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork

Dear Hipster, Jesus loved you before you were cool.

If a hipster does something, but doesn't instagram it, did it really happen?

Dear Hipster, no matter how cool you think you're making it look...It's still alcoholism

Two hipsters walk into a bar. The first one did it before it was cool, and the second one did it ironically.

I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.