A Real Surprise Birthday Party!

This one was on everyone!


It was the day before my eighteenth birthday.  I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my boyfriend over for a romantic night alone.  As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs.  I suggested to him that he would give me a piggyback ride to the phone to keep the fun going.  Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!'


My entire family--aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My boyfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment and nudity for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.


My parents took it all in stride.  They suspected that we might have been "doing it."  After all, that is the Anniston, Alabama way.  Probably it gave the aunts fodder for gossip for months!

Taco Bell

 It was recently announced that a franchise was building a new Taco Bell in Tuscaloosa. The University's response was "Why do we need another phone company?"

Not How to Be a Valentine

On Valentine's Day a shy but drunk young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar and said "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes, I do," she replied, "but go ahead since I'm sure you're going to ask anyway."

"Okay," he said. "How many men have you slept with?"

"That's my business!" she snapped.

"Oh cool!" he said. "How much?"

An Orgy Involving Nuns

What do you call an orgy involving nuns?


A cloisterfuck.

Widdle Wabbits

A precious little girl walked into a pet shop and asked with a lisp, “Excuthe me, Mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”

The Shopkeeper’s heart melted, and he knelt down beside her and asked, “Do you want a widdle white Wabbit or thoft bwack one?” 

The little girl replied, “I don’t ’think my python gives a thit.”