Dear Facebook, Just Wait, One Day They All Will Leave You Too! Sincerely, Orkut
Dear Optimist, That's Not A Light At The End Of The Tunnel, But A Train! Sincerely, Pessimist
Dear Icebergs, Sorry To Hear About Global Warming. Sincerely, Titanic
Dear Yahoo, I've Never Heard Anyone Say, "I Don't Know, Let's Yahoo It!" Sincerely, Google
ALABAMA HUMOR Random, no holds barred irreverence from an Anniston girl.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
A Mathematical Solution to Extinguishing Fires
An Engineering, a Physicist, and a Mathematician are staying in a hotel.
In the middle of the night, the fire alarm goes off. The Engineer is the first to wake. He runs out to the hall, sees a fire off in the distance, and gets to work. He runs back to his room, grabs his ice bucket, fills it with water, and runs quickly back to the hall to douse the flames.
Later, the alarm goes off again, this time waking the Physicist. The Physicist sees another fire in the hallway, runs back to retrieve the ice bucket, patiently fills it with just enough water put out the fire (keeping in mind the rate at which the fire spreads while he’s filling the bucket), walks carefully to just the right distance from the fire, and gently tosses the water from the bucket, forming a perfect arc and putting out the fire without a drop of excess water.
The fire alarm goes off a third time, and the Mathematician wakes up. He runs outside of his room, sees the fire in the hall, remembers the ice bucket in his room, thinks “Aha! A solution exists!” and goes back to sleep.
In the middle of the night, the fire alarm goes off. The Engineer is the first to wake. He runs out to the hall, sees a fire off in the distance, and gets to work. He runs back to his room, grabs his ice bucket, fills it with water, and runs quickly back to the hall to douse the flames.
Later, the alarm goes off again, this time waking the Physicist. The Physicist sees another fire in the hallway, runs back to retrieve the ice bucket, patiently fills it with just enough water put out the fire (keeping in mind the rate at which the fire spreads while he’s filling the bucket), walks carefully to just the right distance from the fire, and gently tosses the water from the bucket, forming a perfect arc and putting out the fire without a drop of excess water.
The fire alarm goes off a third time, and the Mathematician wakes up. He runs outside of his room, sees the fire in the hall, remembers the ice bucket in his room, thinks “Aha! A solution exists!” and goes back to sleep.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Seven Kinds of Sex
Results of a recent research show that there are seven kinds of sex.
The first kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The second kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The third kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The fourth kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The fifth kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.. (Very Popular)
The sixth kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And, last, but not least: The seventh kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
The first kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The second kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The third kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The fourth kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The fifth kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.. (Very Popular)
The sixth kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And, last, but not least: The seventh kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
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