One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95".
The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.
ALABAMA HUMOR Random, no holds barred irreverence from an Anniston girl.
Friday, December 8, 2017
Thursday, December 7, 2017
A Howl from the Woods
Alabama's very much in the news lately; and often not in a good way. Part of it is because of the hijinks of former Governor Bentley and because of Tuesday's Special Senate Election between Roy Moore and Doug Jones. Anyway, lots of people have these notions about Alabama, but these come from God knows where. The media, maybe, when they choose to write about Alabama. Which isn't often. And when they do, they make fun of it and us! And I'm damned sick and tired of it!
As a matter of fact, many people from the East and Far West know about as much about Alabama as they do about Siberia!
Hopefully, they can figure out that, while it snows here now and then, it's not a big thing in our lives.
And while most of us go to church, we take our preachers with a grain of salt. Sorry? Is that news to you? After church, we head to get dinner out and maybe a trip to Lowe's.
And most of us are not racists. Probably no more likely than Midwesterners or Bostonians.
And, yes, football is big. So is hanging around malls. Frankly, life in Anniston or Gadsden can be dull at times; but we make do.
For excitement, it's not a bad drive to Atlanta or Birmingham. And some like going to NASCAR races at Talledega. I don't; but I figure people are entitled to their fun.
Life is good here. Most people are nice. I'm working class. I went to community college. And may finish a 4-year program.
How am I going to vote next Tuesday? I am not sure. Roy Moore is a bit off the rails and is a sleaze. But Doug Jones is suspect too. As is the whole Democratic Party. But, you know . . . . nobody out of Alabama would be giving a damn about how we would vote except for the fact that the two political parties are so closely matched in numbers in the Senate.
So, piss off, Washington Post! You're telling me how to vote to benefit Washington! But you don't know or care jack shit about Alabama!
No, we're just little people to be played like suckers.
I'm just like the girl in the cartoon at the top of the page. Wide-eyed, nice breasts, but not entirely clueless. I'm not stupid. Do me the courtesy of at least pretending that I have a right to an opinion.
My guess is that I might vote for Jones; but discard him next time around as soon as possible like used snot paper.
But it's too much to hope that both candidates would quit the race; and we could get a replay.
Both parties are crass and self-serving. And, to quote a long-dead ex-governor, there's not a dime's worth of difference between the two.
As a matter of fact, many people from the East and Far West know about as much about Alabama as they do about Siberia!
Hopefully, they can figure out that, while it snows here now and then, it's not a big thing in our lives.
And while most of us go to church, we take our preachers with a grain of salt. Sorry? Is that news to you? After church, we head to get dinner out and maybe a trip to Lowe's.
And most of us are not racists. Probably no more likely than Midwesterners or Bostonians.
And, yes, football is big. So is hanging around malls. Frankly, life in Anniston or Gadsden can be dull at times; but we make do.
For excitement, it's not a bad drive to Atlanta or Birmingham. And some like going to NASCAR races at Talledega. I don't; but I figure people are entitled to their fun.
Life is good here. Most people are nice. I'm working class. I went to community college. And may finish a 4-year program.
How am I going to vote next Tuesday? I am not sure. Roy Moore is a bit off the rails and is a sleaze. But Doug Jones is suspect too. As is the whole Democratic Party. But, you know . . . . nobody out of Alabama would be giving a damn about how we would vote except for the fact that the two political parties are so closely matched in numbers in the Senate.
So, piss off, Washington Post! You're telling me how to vote to benefit Washington! But you don't know or care jack shit about Alabama!
No, we're just little people to be played like suckers.
I'm just like the girl in the cartoon at the top of the page. Wide-eyed, nice breasts, but not entirely clueless. I'm not stupid. Do me the courtesy of at least pretending that I have a right to an opinion.
My guess is that I might vote for Jones; but discard him next time around as soon as possible like used snot paper.
But it's too much to hope that both candidates would quit the race; and we could get a replay.
Both parties are crass and self-serving. And, to quote a long-dead ex-governor, there's not a dime's worth of difference between the two.
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