WTF, Auburn!

Prayer to Relieve Constipation

It is verily written that if two or more are gathered to pray in HIS name, HE will hear your prayers.

Now while nicely attired in my Sunday best, and having politely listened to Brother Davis's sermon, he then made his usual request for things that we should pray about.

Members of the congregation offered some of the more standard requests:
a) For a safe return home from the mission trip;
b) For rain for the early crops;
c)  For relief from arthritis;
d) That her husband would stop drinking;
e)  For an Auburn victory;

One time a girl even requested that we pray that she have her period.  In each case, the congregation all pitched in and prayed en masse for her request to be answered.

But one crotchedly old lady gave one that was to relieve her constipation.  "Pray to the LORD that I can finally poop."

And bless everyone's heart, we all prayed for the old lady to have a good one!

Warily Confused

 

"Is my dress appropriate for going to church tomorrow, or should I wear a bra?

 

The only clean one in my drawer is polka-dotted.

 

And I'm a Baptist.

 

 

 

 

 

Back to Blogging - For Real

Okay, I made a feeble attempt at blogging two years ago; but I'm going to try and see if I have something to say.  In a lot of ways, it's intimidating to read what others have written.  If anyone is out there reading this, please let me know if I'm doing okay.

My name is Brandi.  And I've been told I'm a fine girl enough.  Don't stare at my chest when you say that.  It's so trite.

I live in Anniston, which is in the part of Alabama that's a little more boring than most.

New Swimsuit

Unequivocal Declaration

Strategically Restoring Perkiness

Lifts, but not completely conceals.