There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are four animals..... A lion, A chimp, a giraffe, and a squirrel.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds.
Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis.
If your answer is: lion = you're dull. Chimpanzee = you're dense. Giraffe = you're a complete moron. Squirrel = you're hopeless.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax Have two glasses of wine. A full box of Chocolates. And a nice lunch. Now hurry up and forward it to someone else. They may need those glasses of wine.
ALABAMA HUMOR Random, no holds barred irreverence from an Anniston girl.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
TheCardiologist's Funeral
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist.'
The proctologist fainted.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist.'
The proctologist fainted.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
A Real Surprise Birthday Party!
This one was on everyone!
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my boyfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to him that he would give me a piggyback ride to the phone to keep the fun going. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!'
My entire family--aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My boyfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment and nudity for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
My parents took it all in stride. They suspected that we might have been "doing it." After all, that is the Anniston, Alabama way. Probably it gave the aunts fodder for gossip for months!
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my boyfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to him that he would give me a piggyback ride to the phone to keep the fun going. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!'
My entire family--aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My boyfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment and nudity for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
My parents took it all in stride. They suspected that we might have been "doing it." After all, that is the Anniston, Alabama way. Probably it gave the aunts fodder for gossip for months!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Taco Bell
It was recently announced that a franchise was building a new Taco Bell in Tuscaloosa. The University's response was "Why do we need another phone company?"
Friday, February 14, 2014
Not How to Be a Valentine
On Valentine's Day a shy but drunk young man walked up to a beautiful young
woman in a bar and said "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes, I do," she replied, "but go ahead since I'm sure you're going to ask anyway."
"Okay," he said. "How many men have you slept with?"
"That's my business!" she snapped.
"Oh cool!" he said. "How much?"
"Yes, I do," she replied, "but go ahead since I'm sure you're going to ask anyway."
"Okay," he said. "How many men have you slept with?"
"That's my business!" she snapped.
"Oh cool!" he said. "How much?"
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Widdle Wabbits
A precious little girl walked into a pet shop and asked with a lisp, “Excuthe me, Mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”
The Shopkeeper’s heart melted, and he knelt down beside her and asked, “Do you want a widdle white Wabbit or thoft bwack one?”
The little girl replied, “I don’t ’think my python gives a thit.”
The Shopkeeper’s heart melted, and he knelt down beside her and asked, “Do you want a widdle white Wabbit or thoft bwack one?”
The little girl replied, “I don’t ’think my python gives a thit.”
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