Rudolph the High Self-Esteem Reindeer

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen., But do you recall? The most famous reindeer of all?


Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Had a very shiny nose, And if you ever saw it, You would even say it glows. All of the other reindeer Used to laugh and call him names; They never let poor Rudolph Join in any reindeer games.


Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, Rudolph with your nose so bright, Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?


Then Rudolph was all like, "Fuck you Santa, go to Hell! You guys were dicks to me my whole life, why the fuck would I help you now that my supposed "disability" is useful to you? I don't need your approval, that's not what I need to be happy! Also, I'm moving away to get a better job, and also I fucked Mrs Claus."